WELCOME

Welcome to Women Ever After—three little words that express my passion for women’s life and relationship coaching. I appreciate your interest, and I’m excited to tell you all about it!

Coaching is a powerful process, one that can help you to claim (or to reclaim) your own life: to find your voice, to take positive actions, to improve your own emotional equilibrium. Coaching is also a progressive journey, one that begins with clarifying steps.

In that spirit of clarity, I’ve designed this page to shed some light on my coaching practice: By way of INTRODUCTION, I’ll begin by addressing some common questions about coaching in general. By way of INVITATION, I’ll give you a glimpse into my coaching specifically—who I am, where I’ve been, why I’m coaching and what I have to offer my clients. Finally, by way of INVOCATION, I’ll close with my Eleven Words for Women Ever After.

I’ve poured my heart and soul into writing this material, and I wrote it to express my passionate convictions on behalf of EVERY woman. I use it to articulate my vision on behalf of ANY woman. And I share it to extend my deepest desire on behalf of ONE woman…

THAT WOMAN IS YOU.

In my experience, when something happens to interrupt (or obliterate) a woman’s “life as she knows it,” she usually CANNOT get through it by herself—despite the fact that she (and everyone around her) expects that she can, should and will. Feeling disoriented, a woman needs to lean on someone supportive, objective and empathetic—someone who can help her clarify the facts and accept the truth, reflecting that reality without denial. She needs reassurance from someone who believes that her emotional hemorrhage will not last forever. Most importantly, a woman needs someone to “hold out hope” on her behalf—someone who can fast-forward through her current trauma, trusting in what is possible for her on the other side.

The reality of this “new normal” is what prompted me to name my practice Women Ever After. While I DO believe that we women can (and do) “get our lives back”, I also believe that life as we’ve known it will simply NEVER be the same—that our emotional landscape has changed forever, that we cannot return to a former way of doing and being. This reality is sobering, and it sometimes takes awhile to accept. Ultimately, we can put this truth to good use—becoming deeper, more grounded and more authentic women.

You name it, she’s got it. In my experience, women are brilliantly successful at caring for others—while simultaneously ignoring their own needs for too long. Most coaching clients are high-functioning women; they love their families, and they expertly manage the outward aspects of their very busy lives. Life plays out as “normal” until one day, when some major change (either positive or negative) occurs. This event “shakes up” a woman’s external reality—and suddenly, as the result of this shift, a new internal space is created. That space begins to ache for love and comfort, for overdue attention to needs that are not being met. From within this new space, something magical begins to happen: a woman rises up with fresh motivation to dust off her issues, rekindle her passions and renew a connection to her own life—all within the context of this “new normal.”

Consider that my prelude to this list of “motivating factors,” issues that often prompt women to pursue life and relationship coaching: addiction, aging, betrayal, breakup, career change, childbirth, conflict, death, divorce, empty-nesting, family dynamics, financial gain or loss, graduation, grandchildren, health issues, infidelity, loss, marriage, menopause, mid-life crisis, moving, new job, physical injury, retirement, romance, separation, trauma, travel, widowhood.

Simply put, coaching is a collaborative partnership. Like any good partnership, its purpose is met when both parties invest something—something valuable, something quantifiable and something altogether unique.

In coaching, the CLIENT provides three things the coach doesn’t possess and cannot manifest unilaterally: 1) ownership of the client’s own choices; 2) awareness of the client’s own experiences; and 3) expertise about the client’s own life.

In coaching, the COACH provides three things the client doesn’t possess and cannot manifest independently: 1) an outside, observational perspective; 2) professional “support role” training; and 3) techniques designed to help each client help herself.

Every coach defines this a little bit differently. Here’s the way I look at it: As my client, you enter our relationship ready to work (it isn’t easy), ready to play (we will laugh, I promise!) and ready to make some very real progress toward your goals. As your coach, I enter our relationship prepared to support you (you are not alone), prepared to champion you (we’ve both trained for this!) and prepared to help you recognize your progress—especially at your most critical, decision-making junctures.
Coaching and therapy are “separate-but-equal” fields of personal and professional work. The clearest distinction is also the most simple: Coaches do not diagnose or treat mental health disorders. Here’s another: Therapy often involves a journey through your past, seeking to discover what circumstances led you to your present reality. By contrast, coaching begins with your present reality. It clarifies where you stand today, considers where you want to go, then strategizes your best path to get there. Some clients benefit from working concurrently with a coach and another support-team member (therapist, clergy member, mentor, sponsor).
Twelve Step fellowships (non-professional recovery groups that support addicted individuals and their loved ones) encourage new members to get a sponsor—a fellow member who has “been there, done that and lived to tell about it.” Sponsors guide sponsees through the Twelve Steps, suggesting how they solved similar problems through their experiences, all within the framework of a traditional Twelve Step recovery community. Sponsorship is a non-professional, non-regulated and non-monetary relationship; it’s anchored by the sponsor’s personal experience, and it doesn’t require professional qualifications. By contrast, coaching is a professional, regulated and paid relationship; it may integrate the coach’s personal experience, but it’s anchored by the coach’s formal training, skillset and methodology.
Not in my book! Believe it or not, coaching is often considered “successful” when the experience comes to an end. Because each client is unique, there is no generic timetable for the coaching process. Many coaches ask for a 90 day commitment from clients, then review the situation progressively beyond that. Here’s how I see it: I consider it my ethical responsibility to help my clients recognize their own personal progress. I teach my clients to measure their process with tangible milestones—including the milestone that indicates that our coaching relationship has fulfilled its intended purpose.
Coaching is a remarkably flexible profession. Some coaches prefer to work in traditional offices, seeing clients face-to-face. Others coach exclusively by telephone, video chat, email and text. Some coaches are public speakers, teach workshops or facilitate groups. Some coaches offer daily support, on-call services and emergency sessions. This “flexibility factor” is practical and beneficial, both for the client and for the coach. Yet with all these variables, one thing is of paramount importance: that YOU—the client—feel comfortable, safe and personally supported. You deserve to grow in ways that accommodate your preferences, learning style and schedule. As you consider hiring me as your coach, I encourage you to speak up for what suits you best. Ask for what you need. I’ll provide it if I can, or refer you to someone who might be a better fit.

Coaching can be fun and exciting and inspiring. Coaching does work! But in order to get great results, solid life coaching requires hard work. Women don’t hire me to water-down the truth, to dumb-down reality, or to offer pretty platitudes. As your coach, I am committed to serve your best interests, and sometimes I may nudge you out of your comfort zone. Here’s what that looks like:

  • I will ask you to make commitments—to yourself and to me—to practice new skills and habits between sessions. I will only ever ask for commitments we both agree you can handle. Let this be one relationship where accountability meets gentleness and authenticity.
  • I will always be honest with you. (In my experience, most women have already been lied to enough for one lifetime.) At times, this may involve saying things you’d prefer not to hear. I will do my best to balance directness with sensitivity. I encourage you to be equally honest with me. Let this be one relationship where honesty is a two-way street.
  • I will ask you to try new things. This will come into play when “old ways” of doing things are no longer working. I will ask you to be brave and creative and open-minded. I may push you to the edge of your comfort zone, but I will do so with consideration and respect. Let this be one relationship where you can experiment, taking new risks and exploring new paradigms.
  • When you’re going through something painful, we’ll proceed gently, not aggressively. We’ll create time and space to facilitate your healing, at your pace. We’ll also practice techniques that get you to a stronger, less fragile place.

As your coach, I’m committed to maximize who YOU are and what YOU bring to the table. At its essence, coaching is all about YOU. It’s about your needs, your convictions, your priorities and your process. As your coach, I’m committed to “hold space” for you as my client, space that honors your progress, facilitating your journey in whichever direction you want to go. (Click here for an excellent article on “holding space” by life coach and writer Heather Plett.) As your coach, here are eleven ways I promise to meet you exactly where you’re at:

  • I will listen to YOU—not to judge you, but to understand you. I believe you deserve to be heard.
  • I will validate YOU. Your experiences are legitimate, and your feelings deserve to be meaningfully addressed.
  • I will emphasize the importance of self-care: It’s a full-time job that only YOU can do.
  • I will help you clarify your own internal convictions—YOURS, not anybody else’s.
  • I will motivate, champion and compel you. That means, I’ll hold you to YOUR own highest standards.
  • I will urge you to establish an effective and accessible support network, one that meets YOUR needs, first and foremost.
  • I will ask you “the tough questions.” I will invite you to practice gut-level honesty with YOURSELF.
  • I will expose you to a broad spectrum of tools and resources, prompting you to discover which suit YOU best.
  • I will encourage you to be YOURSELF. I believe that sometimes, you NEED to “just be.”
  • I will remind you, as often as necessary, that you can get YOUR own life back.
Hopefully by now, I’ve answered your questions about coaching (in general) and my own practice (specifically). I hope you’re excited to move forward with the process! To formalize our new client/coach relationship, I’ll ask you to do four things, right off the bat:

  • Download and read my WELCOME PACKET in its entirety, completing Part Two: Policies & Paperwork + Part Three: New Client Connection Questions. If you have any questions about any of this material, please don’t hesitate to ask them! You can email me in advance, or address them in our first session.
  • Contact me to schedule your complimentary First Things First coaching conversation. That first hour is my gift to you. It also serves as an exploratory “intake” for new clients, ensuring that we’re on the same page and enabling us to “hit the ground running” in your first paid session. Call me, text me (310-415-3614) or email me (crystalmor@mac.com). And let’s get this party started!
  • Type out your answers to my Seven Starter Questions on Page 16. If possible, please email your answers to me BEFORE our First Things First conversation. These answers will serve to focus and inform our direction for that first session and beyond.

After our First Things First coaching conversation, please print and sign the applicable forms:

  • All Things Practicum & Pro-Bono on Page 13 (if applicable)
  • Payment Authorization form on Page 14
  • Coaching Agreement on Page 15
  • Submit these signed forms to me by mail (717 Naramore Way Unit A, Redondo Beach CA 90278). Or, you can scan and email them (crystalmor@mac.com). Use whichever method is easiest for you. I’ll add my own signature to the coaching agreement, then return it back to you ASAP.

Together, these steps will “get us on the same page,” ensuring that we begin coaching from the best possible starting place. Including our First Things First conversation, these four tasks should take less than 3 hours. Consider this time your initial investment in our coaching journey. You’re worth it!

When it comes to personal healing and growth, I believe that safe, positive and productive environments are absolutely essential for women to survive and thrive. Because that principle is so critically important to me, I’ve echoed it into the very framework of my vision statement, Eleven Words for Women Ever After. I’ve learned these eleven practices from other women (my own coaches, therapists, mentors, sponsors, instructors and supervisors). I’m now honored to practice them with you, in hopes that you will “pay them forward”—first toward yourself, then also toward others.

Eleven Words for Women Ever After.

  • Every woman deserves honesty. She deserves to be honest with herself, first and foremost. She deserves to experience the internal reward of speaking truthfully about her own reality. She also deserves to hear truth from others, establishing environments of authenticity within her relationships.
  • Every woman deserves to be heard. She deserves to express her unique voice to others, within environments where her words are valued and validated. She deserves to receive acknowledgment from others, to know that her words are genuinely absorbed, accurately reflected and meaningfully addressed.
  • Every woman deserves to be comforted. She deserves “a break” from being “the strong one,” experiencing environments where she can be transparent and vulnerable—angry, overwhelmed, conflicted, needy, fragile, afraid, insecure, uncertain and uncomposed.
  • Every woman deserves empowerment. She deserves to access her internal realities, needs, boundaries, spiritual beliefs and sources of strength. She deserves to exercise her empowerment progressively and imperfectly, within environments of trial-and-error, evaluation and exploration.
  • Every woman deserves choices. She deserves freedom to navigate her healthy and unhealthy realities, making intentional choices to “live with,” “leave behind” or “lobby for change” within those realities. She deserves to make decisions within pressure-free environments, space that allows her to choose differently—to make “course corrections”—along the way.
  • Every woman deserves to experience her own healing, independent from the needs of her significant other or family of origin. She deserves to pursue support for herself, in her own way and for her own sake. She deserves to heal within safe environments that answer her questions, address her needs and advocate for her role within her own life.
  • Every woman deserves healthy relationships. She deserves to integrate with others, connecting in ways that are neither self-subsisting (isolated) nor codependent (enmeshed). She deserves to practice healthy relationships at her own pace, within environments that empathize with the complexity of human experience.
  • Every woman deserves to love herself. She deserves to believe that she is more than her body, her mind, her family, her faith, her career, her mistakes and/or her accomplishments. She deserves to explore this within environments of others who believe it on her behalf, until she is able to experience it fully for herself.
  • Every woman deserves to nurture herself. She deserves to invest time, energy and money into things that soothe or inspire her soul. She deserves to enjoy these gifts without guilt, within environments that prioritize her happiness and wholeness.
  • Every woman deserves healthy boundaries. She deserves to establish thresholds that protect and empower her wellbeing, providing environments of emotional safety and personal space. She deserves to adapt and redefine her boundaries when needed, adjusting them to improve her life as it unfolds and evolves over time.
  • Every woman deserves a fresh start. She deserves to renew, reclaim and reorient her story, without judgment or presupposition. She deserves to discover her purpose and promise, within environments that fully support her vision for “life ever after.”

Download: Eleven Words for Women Ever After