ALONE IN THE AFTERMATH

For women whose relationships do NOT survive the impact of our partners’  sex addiction, porn addiction or other forms of problematic sexual behavior, certain recovery concepts—like grieving, healing, repairing and moving on—are VERY DIFFERENT than for those who remain within their relationships.

In my work with partners of sex addicts across all stages of relationship transition, I’ve observed a significant (albeit unintentional) degree of disparity, a impending sense of marginalization experienced by partners who ultimately separate and/or divorce. Too often, the unique needs of these women have gone unnoticed, unacknowledged and unmet, simply due to lack of resources that highlight, honor and address these fundamental distinctions.

Confronted with this challenge, I knew I had two options: I could call game over, or I could call game on.

So I took a deep breath. I rolled up my sleeves.
And I vowed to become part of the solution.

The rest, as they say, is history.

Are YOU healing from separation or divorce from an SA partner or spouse?
Or, are you a helping professional seeking to support your clients, community or congregation? If so, I invite you to explore the resources I’ve created exclusively for this demographic. With 7+ years of dedicated training, research, interviews and advocacy—including firsthand work with nearly 120 divorced, divorcing and separated partners of sex addicts—I’m humbled to provide an expansive collection of awareness, experience and expertise on this field of specialization.

Bottom line, there’s nothing worse than feeling “alone in the aftermath.” Starting now, I hope you feel a bit less alone.


UPCOMING OPPORTUNITIES

FREE HOLIDAY SUPPORT SESSIONS 2021
Theme: I’ll Be Home (Alone) for Christmas

Thursday, December 23rd, 2021 (1pm or 8pm ET)
For women whose relationships DON’T survive sex addiction, partner trauma is compounded by unique factors of permanence and publicity—two features not always faced by partners still attempting to heal WITHIN their SA relationships. These complex factors are underscored intensively during the holidays, when many women find themselves increasingly isolated from loved ones, aching and alone, often without their own spouses, children or grandchildren for the very first time. To support our community through this reality, I’ll be spending Thursday, December 23rd offering 2 FREE group support sessions EXCLUSIVELY for divorced, divorcing and separated partners of sex addicts. I’m offering this group with two different session start times, to accommodate women across multiple time zones. Each session will be an intimate, interactive, holiday themed “open-house style” sharing environment, designed to offer each participant an opportunity to connect with others who are facing similar trauma.
To register, click here.

DREAMGIRLS SISTERHOOD RETREAT 2022
Theme: “Hearts on Fire… The Courage Continues”

FEBRUARY 18–20, 2022 in Portland, Oregon
The 2021 DreamGirls Sisterhood Retreat is weekend of love, laughter and fellowship. It’s a chance to meet our fellow DreamGirls, all survivors of betrayal-related separation or divorce. It’s an opportunity for us to share our experience, courage, hope and healing, in a relaxed and comfortable domestic setting. It’s a chance to recharge our collective batteries, and to gain a fresh surge of courage for wherever life and love lead us next. Our retreat will feature a full-yet-informal program, with lots of thoughtfully scheduled content and plenty of relaxation breaks, including several creative and embodiment activities to round out the weekend. Because we believe in creating consent-based environments, your participation in ANY retreat activity is entirely optional. While our retreat is designed, hosted and facilitated by highly-skilled coaches, our retreat is NOT a formal coaching session—nor is it an intensive therapy weekend. Retreat fees cover two nights of accommodations with multiple participants sharing each bedroom; five meals plus snacks and beverages, all printed materials and retreat supplies, plus a few little gifts and goodies. Your registration fee does NOT include airfare, vehicular or other transportation to the retreat site itself.

Cost: $375 ($25 discount for registrations received by December 31, 2021), divided into three payments of $125 each. 
For general questions, email Jacki.
For registration support, email Kim.
To register, click here.

SUPPORT GROUP:
Avenue D: “Road to Debridement”
Avenue D: “Road to Debridement” (aka “de-bride-ment”) is a 12-week, topic-based support group for divorced, divorcing and permanently separated partners of sex addicts. Avenue D incorporates original materials written by Gaelyn Rae Emerson; each week’s topic is designed to uncover and explore a different topical component of recovery for survivors of betrayal-related separation and divorce. Avenue D seeks to help women resolve their trauma through “remembrance and mourning,” processing their pain with purpose, presence and compassionate forward-focus. Gaelyn facilitates new cohorts for Avenue D at multiple points throughout the year. Next cohorts will likely begin in March 2022. Email gaelynrae@womeneverafter.com to join the registration waitlist.
Click here to download more information.

SUPPORT GROUP:
DreamGirls: Designing Our New Lives
Unlike Avenue D’s topic-oriented approach, DreamGirls provides a flexible, open-ended and open-topic forum, for clients who are actively and independently exploring their “new normal,” alone in the aftermath of relationships mortally wounded by sexual betrayal. DreamGirls provides twice-weekly online coaching sessions, facilitated by Gaelyn Rae Emerson. DreamGirls seeks to help women resolve their trauma through active and progressive “reconnection,” inspiring them to rediscover, reclaim and reorient themselves—all within the context of other women who are doing it, too. Clients can join DreamGirls at any point, on a month-to-month basis (no long-term commitment required.) Best of all? For clients who cannot afford the full group fee, DreamGirls invites participants to join on a “pay what you can” basis. Please note: DreamGirls session times and days occasionally change, based upon active group participants. Email gaelynrae@womeneverafter.com to confirm current session schedule.
Click here to download more information.

SUPPORT GROUP:
Rediscovering Me: “Who Am I Beyond My Trauma?”
For Female Survivors of Relational Trauma
Facilitated by specialist coaches Jacki Elsom, Esther Elmer and Gaelyn Rae Emerson, Rediscovering Me: “Who Am I Beyond My Trauma?” is a truly DIFFERENT kind of support group! Rediscovering Me is designed to support women during the second, third and ongoing stages of their trauma recoveries—those ready to “reengage” life, all within a brave, empowering and trauma-sensitive environment of other women seeking similar goals. Rediscovering Me has two online components: (a) 24 live weekly sessions via Zoom, and (b) a privately moderated Facebook group exclusively for Rediscovering Me participants. Next cohorts will likely begin in March 2022. Email gaelynrae@womeneverafter.com to join the registration waitlist.

Click here to download more information.


MORE RESOURCES:
Alone in the Aftermath | Secret Facebook Group
Admission by invitation only. Click here to request membership.
Alone in the Aftermath | Recommended Reading List
Created for helping professionals. Click here to download.

AUDIO INTERVIEWS:
Divorce with Dignity | Podcast Interview with Kristin Cary
Living Truth Podcast from LivingTruth.org
Click here to listen—Part One.
Click here to listen—Part Two.

My “Big Sexy Comeback” Story | Podcast Interview with Jenni Rochelle

Beauty After Betrayal, August 2021Click here to listen.
Creating a New Happily Ever After | Podcast Interview with Anna Osborn
Her Life Unscripted, August 2019Click here to listen.
Feeling and Healing from Abandonment | Podcast Interview with Geoff Steurer
Illuminate Podcast, April 2020Click here to listen.
Feeling and Healing from Sexual Rejection | Summit Interview with Jordann Alyce
Ready to Rise: Triumph Over Trauma, February 2020Click here to listen.
What Happens If I Need to Leave? | Radio Interview with Carol Sheets
APSATS Betrayal Recovery Radio, February 2018Click here to listen.
Divorce Support for Partners of Sex Addicts | Radio Interview with Carol Sheets
Sex Help with Carol the Coach, October 2016Click here to listen.

PROFESSIONAL PRESENTATION:
Alone in the AftermathSociety for the Advancement of Sexual Health
SASH Conference, September 2016Click here to listen.
From Separation to Sexploration: Navigating the Liminal Landscape of Post-Divorce SexSociety for the Advancement of Sexual Health
SASH Conference, October 2020Click here to listen.

UPCOMING EVENTS:
BYOV: Be Your Own Valentine! | FREE Holiday Support + Sharing Sessions

February 13 and 14, 2019. Click here to reserve your space.

PAST EVENTS:
I’ll Be Home (Alone) for Christmas | FREE Holiday Support + Sharing Sessions
December 23, 2018. Click here to reserve your space.
How Can I Protect and Heal My Children? | Workshop
April 15, 2018. Click here to download event flyer.
Who Am I Beyond Betrayal Trauma? | Workshop
Spring 2017. Click here to download event flyer.

BLOG POSTS:
The Fable of the Bridge
On That Day
Eleven Words for Women Ever After
Be Still and Know? Dear God, You Must Be Joking

SURVEY:
Having sex (or not) after separation or divorce? Either way, I want to hear about it!

COMING SOON:

The Women Ever After Identity Project